


A Perfectly Natural, Normal Thing

by Duck_Life



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Awkwardness, Family Fluff, Gen, Humor, It's Not A Sexy Fic I Swear, Masturbation, Puberty, The Talk, Walking In On Someone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-22
Updated: 2016-01-22
Packaged: 2018-05-15 12:17:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5785048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Duck_Life/pseuds/Duck_Life
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All Luke wanted to do was make some chili.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Perfectly Natural, Normal Thing

**Author's Note:**

> All I can say about this is that I jolted out of bed at 2am and knew I had to write it, which probably comes from marathoning the American Pie movies. Also I'm very proud of my euphemisms.

Artoo chirps as Luke stirs the pot of chili one final time. It smells good, so he’s reasonably sure he got the recipe right. Artoo beeps at him again. “I did _not_ screw it up,” he insists, and to prove it, he tastes it— and promptly burns his tongue.

Times like this he swears he can hear that little astromech laughing at him.

Luke pours some of the chili into a bowl and lets it cool before heading up the stairs of the temple housing. Most of the other padawans have gone home for a week, but his nephew stuck around for extra training.

The door is open a crack and Luke’s kind of occupied with the bowl, so he doesn’t knock before swinging into Ben’s room. “Hey, I know you’ve been working hard so I thought you could use a good bowl of—”

“ _Uncle Luke!_ ” Ben squeaks, sweaty and red in the face, frantically yanking his bedcovers over himself. In his wild scramble, he drops a magazine onto the floor— _Wookiee Nookie._

It takes an agonizing second for everything to click in Luke’s head. “ _Oh_.”

“Get out!”

“Getting out,” Luke mumbles, backing out of the room and shutting the door behind him. His eyes are wide as saucers. “Listen, I made you some chili,” he calls through the door.

“GO AWAY.”

“I’m just… I’m just gonna put it right here outside the door for you, ’kay?”

“I DON’T WANT ANY CHILI, UNCLE LUKE.”

Luke sets the bowl down as fast as he can and races outside.

It doesn’t take long for Yoda’s ghost to materialize on one of the stone benches outside the temple. He always seems to sense when Luke’s in distress. “In distress, I sense you are.”

“Um, it’s nothing,” Luke says. “Not a big deal.”

“The training with your young padawan,” Yoda says, nodding at him. “It is difficult.”

“Yeah, well,” he sighs, scratching the back of his neck. “I sort of walked in on him… clocking some training time with his own padawan, if you know what I mean.” Yoda blinks up at him. “You know,” Luke says, “honing his lightsaber. Strangling Jabba the Hutt. Whacking his womprat?” The old Jedi ghost seems clueless. “He was jerking off, Yoda.”

“Ahh, I see,” Yoda says, and thinks for a long time. “Confront him, you must.”

“What? _Why_?”

Yoda shakes his head. “When thirteen years old _you_ were, _your_ uncle explained such matters to you.”

“No, he didn’t,” Luke says, trying to sound indignant. It’s difficult, though, when the object of his anger is two feet tall and translucent. “He made Aunt Beru give me the talk.”

“My problem, that is not.”

“Oh, you know what?” Luke says, rounding on him. “ _You_ should do it.”

“What?”

“Yeah, you’re great at explaining stuff,” Luke says, feeling a little pissed off. “Remember that time you told me that Vader was my father? Or that the girl I was kissing was my sister? Yoda, you are the _king_ of handling awkward family situations.”

“But I never told you that—”

“ _Exactly_. You owe me.”

Yoda sighs. “Very well,” he says, and Luke, pleased with himself, turns to go back into the temple.

When he turns around, Yoda’s vanished. “Dammit,” Luke mumbles to himself, “why do I keep letting that happen?” He aims a kick at a rock sticking out of the ground on his way back into the temple to face the inevitable.

When he gets inside, Ben’s sitting at the kitchen counter, freshly showered and fastidiously avoiding eye contact by staring into his bowl of chili.

“This is good chili, Uncle Luke,” Ben says, struggling to change a subject that hasn’t even been broached yet.

Luke leans his elbows on the counter. “Listen,” he says, “we probably should talk about what happened.”

“Nothing happened,” Ben says, and glares at him, waves a hand. “ _Nothing happened_.”

“Wha— _you can’t Jedi mind trick me, Ben_.”

Ben grumbles into his chili. “Worth a shot.”

“Look,” Luke says, twisting his hands together as he tries to find the words. “Puberty’s a weird time. Right? Strange new urges, sweating. You might be tempted to join the Dark Side. You start seeing hair in weird places.” Luke grins a little. “Although judging by that magazine up there, you’d probably be into that, huh?”

Ben looks like he’s going to stab himself with his own lightsaber.

“Seriously, though,” Luke says, and coughs as if that’s going to ease the tension. “Puberty’s rough. And you should never feel embarrassed about what you like, or who you like, or where you like it—”

“Please stop.”

“But the point is, it’s all perfectly natural and normal,” Luke says, hoping he sounds wise. “And if you ever need someone to talk to about it—” Ben makes a choking noise “— you can always come talk to me. I know it might be weird to talk about this kind of stuff with your parents, so I am prepared to be your cool Uncle Luke.”

“Can you be my cool Uncle Luke that I never speak to anymore?” Ben says, looking physically pained. Luke figures it’s probably time to give him space— hell, to give both of them space.

“No,” he sighs. “Sadly, I’m here for life. Sorry, kid.”

He prepares his own bowl of chili and starts off to go find Artoo. As he’s turning out of the kitchen, Ben calls to him.

“Hey,” he says to Luke’s back. “…Thanks.”

“Any time,” Luke says.

“For the— for the chili, I mean.” Ben’s voice is in the process of changing, so it cracks when he speaks.

“Of course,” Luke says.

Ben can’t see it, but he’s smiling.


End file.
